I intend to do a weekly series on Wellness. This may take many forms. Right now, my wellness is focused on weight loss. However, there are many more facets to wellness than weight. We will explore topics from sleep to meal planning to flexibility. As you can see from the gallery below, my weight has been all over the map. I remember the first time I realized I was fat. It was when I was living in South Africa (SA) in 2003. The people were so small, and so honest over there. I embarked on my first real diet of my life the following Spring while finishing my studies at Missouri State. I don't remember the exact numbers. . .but I know I lost over a hundred pounds. My flatmate in SA used to look at my pictures and tell me I had lost a Back Street Boy. The weight stayed off, and more came off. I didn't have to think about my weight for one second when I was over there. This was due to a combination of the culture/food there, and the life I was living. I remember my South African mom used to say, "you can see your shit through your ribs". . .which was a rough translation of an Afrikaans saying that meant I was too skinny. It may have been crude, but she wasn't wrong. mThe When I returned to the states in 2006, my weight almost immediately began to change. I was depressed, in culture shock, surrounded by the SAD (standard American diet), and very quickly swept into a stressful corporate job. This perfect storm led to me putting on 100+ pounds in short order. I lost most of it a couple of times, but continued to struggle. In 2010, I did Jenny Craig. I got down to 175#. I was running, eating right and feeling great. Then, of course, life came along and derailed me. When I adopted Judd, quit my job, got married, acquired Rose, and moved to the woods. . . well, that was a bit much even for a change master like me. I gained back all that weight in the 3 years I was married. In 2014 I discovered HCG, and it was going very well. . .until. . . Judd broke her leg the day before I had my shoulder surgery. With the two of us being incapacitated at hospitals on opposite sides of the city, I couldn't very well get my food prepared. So, that round of HCG succumbed to life. 2014 would prove to have other challenges that kept me derailed the rest of the year. Not limited to having my arm tied to my body. . . having a teen in a wheelchair. . .and getting fired for no reason. In 2015 I was back at it again. My ex was finally gone forever. I was reclaiming me. I did two rounds of HCG in the first half of the year and lost over 60#. Things were going well. . .and then, I got fired. I ended up gaining about 20 of those pounds back before I got back on track. I have maintained at 244# for most of 2016. Though, I have made notable body composition progress from all of the working out I have been doing. Trying to lose weight, eating right and working out are all good things. . .and I honestly enjoy them most of the time. But it just got exhausting. I decided I was ready to lose some serious weight. So, I started my (4th?) HCG protocol on July 15th. Today is day 11 of Phase 2 and I have lost 16 pounds. The HCG protocol is not for the faint of heart. This is what my menu looks like:
We will delve more into the workings of HCG protocol on a later post. It is controversial, intense and often misunderstood. For now I will just say this, it is not a diet. It is a protocol. You really can't cheat on this. At all. So, if you are considering it, prepare yourself to be committed to follow through. Why the weight yo-yo? At some point that becomes the issue, not the actual weight. I remember when I first started that original diet way back in 2004. My closest friends were not supportive: "it'll never work", "you'll never keep it off". I came to realize that my efforts and progress made them uncomfortable with their own health and they didn't like the feelings or want to deal with them, so they lashed out. And that's only the beginning of the mine field that is weight loss/body image/health/sexuality/gender roles/social expectations that impact weight loss. It's not easy. You have got to want it bad. You have to be willing to be different. Work hard. Make sacrifices. Stick with it. It's no wonder that most of us (Americans) are over weight. My secret agent is planning and cooking ahead. I would never make it if I had to come home from work and cook healthy choices (protocol choices) every day. So, I batch cook. Last weekend I prepared 38 servings of chicken, and my veggies for the week. I seal them all up in serving packs or jars and can just grab and go. In fact, I smuggled my protocol dinner into a concert just last night. Yes, surrounded by a crowd of beer drinking, pizza eating concert goers, I ate chicken breast and refrigerator pickles with my overpriced water. What is your experience with weight loss? I would love to hear what as and hasn't worked for you. . .and, more imporantly, what you learned along the way. Have a blessed and beautiful week.
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Greetings! My apologies for the delay in posting. There as has been SO MUCH going on that I have actually had a hard time deciding what to write about. Then I thought. . .why not ramble on about it all. So, here we go. My NEW Discovery - Amazon FBAI recently stumbled upon a YouTube video about Amazon FBA. At the moment I can't even remember what I was watching (I have watched A LOT of FBA videos in the 10 days since then). How did I not know that Prime products are sold by independent merchants and fulfilled by Amazon (FBA)?! This seems like something that I would have known. I am an avid Prime customer. . .and always on the lookout for opportunities. Well, now I have found it and am SUPER EXCITED! I sent in my first two shipments already. . .and sold my first product today! I can't tell you how much this whole concept has totally changed my outlook on life. I truly believe that this opportunity has the potential to be life changing. Look for MUCH more on this. I will resist the urge to start sharing how it works until I have learned some more. Bring on the YouTube videos and clearance sales! HCG - The DietNo, it's not really a diet, it's a protocol, but you know what I mean. I have had amazing results losing weight in the past. I lost 65 pounds in 2015 (and then gained 20 of it back after I got fired. . . ) I have been trying to get in shape the "right way" for this whole year. I have been working out 5 days a week, seeing a trainer, and eating right most of the time. . . . . . and until I started HCG I had lost 2 pounds. Two. Pounds. In six months. Granted, I have better body composition, have gained muscle and lost fat. Still, I want to see some results. Yesterday was my first day on Phase 2 (more on this in future posts), and I lost 6.2 pounds. This is an extreme amount. The loss will average out to around 1 pound per day for the duration of the phase. The numbers the first few days are always more drastic. Look for a post on food prep / menu planning in the next few days. Square DancingDancing is going swimmingly. I absolutely love it. I joined a club, the Silver Dollar Squares. There isn't much to say about this, but here are some pictures. All of the skirts are my own creations. More on all of that later.
Peace, This post has been in my "drafts" since the day I started this blog. I kept thinking I would have more to say. . . .come to some sort of conclusion. . . or at least add some pretty images. I will not. I will just leave it here and move on. I have been an orphan for 30 years, so I should be used to it by now, right?
-------- I don't want to talk about my daughter. Or my mother. This. . . . this is me sitting here staring at the cursor. . . The feeling that I get tells me that I need to write this post. Not because you need to know. Not because I need to share. Just because the good stuff is on the other side, so let's get this one out of the way and move on. I'll try to keep it to the Reader's Digest version. My mom hated me before I was born. I have never quite understood why. . .maybe something to do with how she felt about my dad. I just know that she didn't want to bring me home from the hospital. . .and it was all kind of downhill from there. I was never good enough. I am way too out-loud for someone like my mother to understand. Now, don't get me wrong. There were good moments along the way, but mostly the relationship was always strained. She finally kicked me (and my older sister) out of the house when I was 12. What happened after that is another series of posts. . . Cut to age 14. I was in an orphanage-type place. I was assigned Janice, a "volunteer" who took me on various outings. This was basically a generic Big Brothers Big Sisters program. My "Big Sis" moved away within the first year, but we have always remained close. I have known her longer than any other person in my life except my sister. This experience made my becoming a Big Sister a foregone conclusion. I always knew I wanted to help some young girl the way that Janice had helped me. It took a while before my life was in the right place for making long term commitments to kids. I was matched with my first Little in 2007. It was a short-lived match, due to her family moving out of state. Finally in 2009 I was matched with Judd. I had been Judd's Big Sister for just over a year when she asked me to adopt her. (look for future posts on the whole story). Judd moved in with me in 2010 and the adoption was final in 2011. At the age of thirty-seven, I became a mother. Things went more or less, or less, as you would expect over the course of the next few years. Last Spring when Judd turned 18, our relationship took a turn south. She thought she was an adult now and wouldn't need to follow rules, do chores, be respectful, etc. One fateful night in May of 2015 I lost my cool and yelled at her. Yes, I yelled and cussed and had a meltdown of sorts. Judd got pissed off and moved out. Her right at 18. (never mind that she had no way to provide for herself. . .and she still had a year of school to finish). Since she was an adult, there was nothing I could do to make her come home. She acted very ugly, working hard to divide as many relationships as she could. As I had learned years ago in therapy, Judd had learned to triangulate in her relationships as a survival skill to some of the horror she went through as a young child. And triangulate she did. It was ugly. Imagine my surprise, shock and horror when my mother, of all people, got all indignant and judgmental on me. The nerve. This woman has no idea how to raise 18 year old girls. My sister had been a few weeks past 16 when my mom kicked us out. How dare my mother stand in judgement on me? How. Dare. She. I won't bore you with the details of my so-called mother's behavior in the last year. Let me just say that she has done everything in her power to make this past year as difficult for me as she could. We haven't spoken in over a year. When I meet new people I say my mom is dead. It's just easier. It feels like I lost my mom and my daughter. Then I start to wonder, did I ever really have either one of them? My mom never mothered me growing up. We had probably become closer over the last few years than at any point that I can remember. From 2011 - 2013 I lived within 4 hours of her for the first time since age 12, so we naturally spent more time together during this time. We did mother/daughter type things. She watched my kids when I traveled. I helped her clean out her closets and purger her house when she decided to sell. We had difficult conversations. Now I wonder if that time was a gift to help me get closer on all of my mommy issues. It's been just over a week since I started my bujo (bullet journal). I am happy to say that I am busy learning about my behaviors and pushing my self to the next level in my goals and actions. With any new discovery/project, I tend to be a kid-in-a-candy-store. I see 1000 new ideas, and suddenly everything must change to accommodate said fabulousness. This time, however, the discovery itself is about consistency and self awareness. Miracle MorningI stumbled across the Miracle Morning concept in some of my trolling around the bujo blog sites. What a simple concept. I will leave the in depth explaining to the author/founder Hal Elrod. Here are the basics. If this is something that sparks your interest, I highly recommend going to the original source for instructions. First, use the awesome downloads that he GIVES you. The main component of this is the Level 10 Life material. Designed to help explore where you are now, where you want to go, and what is standing in your way (SPOILER ALERT: YOU are what is standing in your way); this exercise should not be skipped or rushed over. Every. Morning. Take. Time. Life S.A.V.E.R.S.
What would you do if you were focused and committed to inventing a life you love? Is there a dream you are ready to start living? Do you need to assess first and define your dream? GREAT. Start there. And move the needle. Where are you headed? Please comment and share your goals and adventure. I am on a freight train of FUCK YEAH. That's right. A freight train of fuck yeah. Just try to stop me. I have had enough of living anything less than my best. Let the BadAssery commence. (stay tuned for a post on my other new find: You Are a Badass). I will be posting updates on both my Miracle Mornings, as well as Badassery in general. Go forth and create/discover the life of your wildest dreams. |
Jules Warner - AuthorThanks for reading my ramblings. Archives
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